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Canucks/Blues Post Game Quotes (I Wish Were Real)

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The main issue I have with post game coverage is the general lack of personality conveyed by the majority of the league. The NHL has some of the classiest athletes and coaches in all of professional sports, but sometimes you just want to hear someone go off.

No canned responses about “working hard”, “winning the battles” and “getting off to a good start” (it’s more of a restart, but a win is a win). I would love it if there was a bit more colour in those interviews and players said what they were really thinking.

Stuff like this:

St_Louis_Blues3

ST. LOUIS BLUES

Head Coach Ken Hitchcock – “I get to return to the bench after being banished to the rafters for Team Canada the last few weeks. I liked it better up there. My team won”.

Jaroslav Halak – “The scouting report said Hansen can’t score on breakaways, so I didn’t worry too much about it. I still don’t. Ryan Miller is just going to come in here and steal my job next week anyway”.

David Backes – “I brought back two things from Sochi: puppies and the losing ways of the USA”.

Jay Bouwmeester – “Reaching over Shattenkirk, Backes and Oshie and allowing my gold medal to dangle in their face is pretty much the main reason I wanted to win one”.

Alex Pietrangelo – “Me and Jay Bouw got together and gave presents to all our American Olympian teammates. We bought them all self tanning bronzer, but that was before their last game. It is way funnier/meaner now”.

T.J. Oshie – “I know I didn’t contribute much tonight, but in my defence I was waiting for the shootout”.

Canucks logo

VANCOUVER CANUCKS

Head Coach John Tortorella – “I’d like to apologize to the American hockey fans for beating an American team. Is this something I have to do after every game now? Jeez”.

Eddie Lack – “No goals allowed, no bets honoured. That’s how I roll”.

Roberto Luongo – “Torts liked how well I watched the Olympic games, so he wanted to utilize me in the same manner. We won, but c’mon. I’m a peacock, sooner or later they gotta let me fly!”.

Henrik Sedin – “The lack of Henrik was most definitely the problem during that epic, pre Olympics losing streak”.

Daniel Sedin – “Existing in a locker room where Dan Hamhuis has a gold medal is weird. I brought mine in from 2006 today, made me feel like a big man”.

Alex Burrows – “I think not looking like Trap-Jaw from He-Man helped my game tonight. I’m getting closer to the goal, you guys. Don’t worry”.

Jannik Hansen – “Hopefully that goal tonight shows Team Denmark I got the goods for the 2018 Olympic team”.

Tom Sestito – “Yeah, I can do that backhand tape to tape floater pass whenever I feel like it. I prefer punching people, so I do that more.”

Dan Hamhuis – “Minutes…. I got to play so… many… minutes”.

Alex Edler – “Add that to my resume: Olympic silver medalist AND pioneer of the new sport “Ice-breakdancing”. Name another player with moves as sick as mine. Unlike naming players that play better than me, you can’t.”

chode Canucks/Blues Post Game Quotes (I Wish Were Real)

(Pictured: skyrocketing trade value)

You can follow j.Bow on twitter (@jBowmancouver). This game was great and everything, but the ’94 Canucks are reuniting on Sunday!



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